Wednesday, January 18, 2006


Yesterday while at work, my co-worker began telling us about her trip to Georgia. She said that it was a sistah there with sisterlocks. She indulged in a discussion about hair. She said that she wouldn't mind trying them, but her husband (discreetly) was shaking his head No. She said that the SL'd lady had a style that was braided in the back. She then went on to talk about how she had buckshots coming out from the back.

I don't know if she was complimenting SLs or putting them down. She has complimented me on my locs. She went on to say that there is an attitude that goes along with having natural hair and she just isn't there yet. I did express to her that you have to change your way of thinking about what beautiful hair is. I explained to her that I had to go through a period of acceptance of my natural texture. It was almost as if I had to de-program myself. I didn't go much further than that with her.

How do you all feel about an attitude accompanying going natural?


kemicutie said...

Yes I totally get you with the attitude that comes with natural hair. It's a confidence in yourself that you won't see with women who wear their hair relaxed. It's the fact that we have as you say "de-programmed" ourselves and changed the way that we look at our hair. It's self esteem that comes from within. You don't see that anywhere else other than with woman who wears her hair natural. By the way, you hair looks beautiful!!!! Happy 2 year anniversary!!

Tra said...

It is also hard to de-program when your mate is not with it. Since you want to be pleasing in the eyes of the one you love you may put off what you know in your heart is best for you. I was single when I decided to begin my natural journey and it was definitely some deprogramming going on. I am just glad that I didn't have to deal with someone else's opinion of my naps during that very crucial time for me.
Locking was a whole different story but I won't go into that here (lol).


Leighann said...

Hmm. Good question. I don't know if I'd call it an attitude as much as I would call it a quiet confidence. Perhaps I'm splitting hairs. :-)

aquababie said...

if she means feeling self-confidence, then yes i have an attitude. i've had it 8 years and i'm not going back.

frankly it sounds to me she's talking herself out of something. if she's ready, she won't even hesitate.

AnitaC said...

Self acceptance is a difficult thing to attain, if your ego requires major stroking or if you are fragile so to speak, locing is not necessarily for you. You have to love and accept you before anyone else will. If your spirit is leading you to go in a certain direction and you allow someone to stand in your way then it's your loss. Beauty comes from within, you may have it but it can be overshadowed by self loathing. The fact of the matter is being natural is not for everyone. Thank God it works for me.

Blqberrylocz said...

I would have to agree w/Leighann, it is a confidence that we, if we are honest with ourselves, comes from a inner battle/struggle with our and others perception of beauty. But once we get, ain't no stoppin' us, we tend to walk with our heads lifted/tilted just a bit higher...and I'm lovin' it!!

Goodnapps said...

Hi Ree-c,

Yes, I think there is an attitude that comes with having natural hair. An attitude in the sense that a) you are going against the grain of what represents beautiful hair for black women and b) you have the self-love, confidence, power and communication skills to stand up to those who challenge why you would want to sport natural hair so proud. Until you've
de-programmed yourself as you put it - you can't do either one of the
above. I think that's what your co-worker means when she says she is not ready. I can't pass judgement against those who admit they are not ready to make the journey. It took me almost 15 yrs to get de-programmed and only 5 months into my journey...I still have so much more de-programming to go through. But once you reach that comfortable place within your self-
you can't help but want to take somebody else there with you.

andrea said...

i think and agree with the ladies also, it's that confidence that my hair is so lovely it stands by itself, no other thing is needed for it to be glamorous...gurl it's so good you wnat to kiss yourself.

by the way i love your hair.

Colleen said...

I think people with locks, especially sisterlocks, are strong people, independent people, people who know what they want, and what they are about. I wear my sisterlocks proudly for the past 6 months. I love your locks. Love, Colleen